I am amazed by the creativity of brewers and their marketing teams when it comes to beer names.
None of their name creations surprise me anymore and many put a smile on my face, like ‘Puddle Jumper’ (a New England IPA from Alibi Brewing) or ‘Fuzzy Cuzzy’ (an IPA by Brew Moon) just to name a couple. However, when it comes to describing their beers, the creativity sometimes can get a little excessive.
I am not sure how many drinkers read the beer blurb on the back of a bottle/can or in the details on Untappd. Well, I do!
I appreciate that there is no official convention on what the description of a beer should contain. I am also conscious that not everyone has the same expectations on what to find in the descriptions.
My mindset is, that it would not harm the brewers to let us know what hops and probably malts and yeasts they have used to brew the beer. This information could then be embedded in a couple of sentences on the idea or inspiration of brewing it, and how the beer got its name. If all of that is presented in an entertaining/creative way, my personal sweet spot has been hit.
I get that the world of beer does not revolve around me and my preferences, but here are a few random and very recent examples of beer descriptions* I came across that left me more confused than educated:
This fresh hop IPA doesn’t just hold the high score on Space Paranoids –
It’s the best Programmer Encom ever had.
Just take a look at the tech specs-
Operating System: Mean Doses BASIC 2.0GEOS
CPU: MD Tech 6510/8500 @0.985MHz
Memory: 64 KB RAM / 10 KB ROM…
- Have R2-D2 and C-3PO started their own brewery?
Our feathered friends see the world differently. Through birds’ eyes,
things might look almost psychedelic to us. With heightened colours
and fresh hues forming a surprising new spectrum…
- We all know alcohol and prescription medicine are best not to be taken together!
A super juicy, hazy New England IIPA with west coast bitterness…
- A beer with Jekyll and Hyde identity crisis?
Classic style West Coast IPA using Pahto, Colombus, Magnum and Simcoe.
Yes the label says it uses Citra but the label was printed before brewing and
The recipe changed in the brewery on brew day.
- Not necessarily false advertising but possible proof of being creative on the day?
We love that Norman Anonymous told churches where to go, even if he did
defend regal authority in the process. Our Norman may have the moniker of
an anonymous little bureaucrat, but he’s big and tough, all hopped up on
Simcoe and Centennial, and a little dangerous to those with too much authority!
- I admit, I had to google this, but still have no clue how almost 1000-year-old treatises link to an Imperial IPA.
When I want to be purely entertained, I usually go to the movies. If I want to learn about history, I usually go to the library or check the internet – I certainly will not consult the back of a beer bottle!
* Descriptions as published on Untappd. Name of beer and brewery left out (this is not intended to be a ‘name and shame’)